An expectedly unexpected journey
by S.S.Dork
Summary: What do you do when you're transported eighty years in the past? Try to save your friends and kill a dragon of course! At least that's the plan, but things never seem to go as planed for Bilbo Baggins do they? (Bagginshield)
1. Chapter 1 impossibility

Hobbits were, by nature, a very calm and simple folk. They seemed to enjoy the simple things, such as the brewing of ale, the smoking of pipe weed and well tilled earth. They were very respectable creatures, they never went on any adventures or did anything unexpected at all. This is the story of the unsuspecting Hobbit who changed everything.

The green rolling hills of the Shire where peaceful in the early hours of the morning. The golden morning light was just starting to creep into the windows of a lavish but rather lonely Smial at the end of the road know as Bag-End. The inhabitants of which was just starting to stir in his bed, awoken by the irritating sunlight creeping in through his window.

Bilbo Baggins rolled over onto his back, eyes still stubbornly closed against the morning light. He let out an irritated sigh, resigning to the fact that the sun wouldn't go away just because he wanted it to. Bilbo let out another sigh and opened his eyes to look up at the ceiling of his cabin, except it wasn't the ceiling of his cabin but it was the ceiling of his old bedroom in Bag-End. He blinked. Then he realized that not only was this the wrong ceiling but his eyes seemed to be working better then they had in years. He sat up and looked around, his eyes fell on a mirror hanging on the open wardrobe door and what he saw reflected back at him made him gasp. He was staring at himself except it wasn't the face of an old man with wrinkles, grey hair and cloudy half-blind eyes. No, it was the smooth face of a hobbit with thick golden curls and clear amber eyes. Bilbo pinched himself hard on the arm to check that he wasn't dreaming, when he didn't suddenly wake up in his cabin, he realized this must be real. Though this did nothing but confuse him further, then he suddenly remembered an old tale he had once herd, about a maiden whose family had died tragically and she was somehow sent back in time to save them. Bilbo leapt from his bed (only briefly thinking about how agile he still was) and ran over to his calendar hastily checking the date.07/04. If this really was the date and he really wasn't dreaming then in a little less then a month Gandalf would be walking right up to his front door to take him on an adventure, an adventure with Thorin and Fili and kili and every other precious Dwarf he had lost. Bilbo broke down in sobs. He hand been given another chance! He had been given the chance to try and save his dwarves Bilbo's face split into a wide smile under his tears, allowing himself a moment to simply be grateful for opportunity he had been given.

But then that moment ended. Bilbo resolutely wiped his face free of tears. He had to prepare for the upcoming journey, a three weeks may seem like ample time but there was a lot he had to put in order before he left this time. He stalked out of his room and into his study, he sat down at his desk and grabbed a quill, ink pot, and parchment. First he wrote a letter to his cousin Drogo, asking him if he could look after Bag-End while he was gone and to not let the Sackville Baggins anywhere near it. Next he wrote his will, because even if he had survived last time there was no way to be sure he would this time. In the will he stated that he wanted Bag-End to go to Drogo and Primula, he wanted most of the books he owned to go to the library, he gave his garden over to the care of the Gamgee family, and last but not least he explicitly stated that he wanted nothing to go to any of his Sackville Baggins relatives.

Next he made a list of all the things he wanted to get done before his departure. The first thing to go on the list was to become a better fighter, although he had held his own farley well the first time round, he knew he could be a better warrior, how he was going to get better he didn't know, swords were hard to come by in the the Shire. Next thing on the list was to go to the tailors so he could get some new travel appropriate clothing. The last thing on the list was to attempt to be prepared for the arrival of his Dwarves, or at least prepared enough to not break down into sobbes at the first site of them. The Hobbit had a feeling that the next few weeks would be very interesting.

As it turns out finding a sword, or any other weapon, was even harder than Bilbo had anticipated. He ended up having to walk all the way to Bree before he found any trace of weaponry, but he did eventually find a suitable steel knife, though to him it was more like a short sword, in a small blacksmiths shop on the south end of Bree, he got many strange looks from man and Hobbit alike as he walked down the street with a sword and scabbard strapped to his belt. Well, he supposed it didn't really matter much, people had always thought him a bit odd.

Oh, how impossible it all seemed, Bilbo reflected as he sat in his comfy armchair by the fire having just returned from his trip to Bree, the whole idea of traveling back in time, being able to see Thorin again, oh, dear Thorin, how often had he prayed and wished and hoped that he could be granted one last chance to see him. The mere thought of seeing him again was enough to bring tears to his amber eyes. How much did he suffer after his loves death? how long did he greave? Much longer then he cared to remember. Bilbo was uncertain how he would react to seeing the king's face again but he knew it wouldn't be pretty, he just hoped he would be able to hold it together long enough for no one to get suspicious.

The Baggins suddenly thought of the letter he had sent to his cousin several day ago, specifically about the small fote note he had put in warning them not to go near any large body of water for the next several years, he wasn't naive, he knew what he was sacrafiing by writing something like that. Frodo. Bilbo knew that if his cousin and primula headed his warning and lived, he would never have the the same relationship with his dear nephew that he had first time. He had always been a very selfish Hobbit but he knew he simply couldn't deny Frodo the parents he so rightly deserved if he could help it.

The Hobbit glanced over at his new sword sitting comfortably by the door, getting a sword was one thing but practicing with it was another thing altogether; it had been a long time since he had fought after all and his skills were more than a bit rusty, well, supposed, that's what the practice was for.

This had to be one of his stupider ideas, Bilbo thought, sword in hand, as he stared at the wooden 'target' he had set up in his backyard. Gandalf would be showing up at his door in just 9 short days and the Hobbit had hardly practiced his swordsmanship at all. He had already gone down to the tailors some three days ago and there really wasn't much left for him to do but train, though he must admit that he felt a bit silly hitting a harmless post aimlessly with his small sword. Oh well.

Bilbo was panicking, just a little. Gandalf would be arriving in just a few hours and he still needed to go to the market, he couldn't believe he had forgotten something so important until the last minute.

The hobbit rushed down the streets of Hobbiton, mentally planing all the dishes he wanted to make for supper and then multiplying that by ten, if their was one thing he new about Dwarves it was that they could eat, a lot. They had emptied all his cupboards and larders the first time and Bilbo was determined not to let that happen this time.

For nearly two hours the Hobbit raded every food, every morsel, from every stall in the market, he got everything from chicken to blueberries. Glancing down at his pocket watch as he walked home with his groceries, Bilbo saw he only had twenty five minutes until Gandalf's arrival if he remembered right. Rushing up the street and through his round green door, the Hobbit dashed into the kitchen, hastily set down the food, grabbed his pipe and sat down on the bench outside the door and waited.


	2. Chapter 2 concerning Dwarves

Chapter 3

Even though it had been many years since he had last visited the Shire it was still just as beautiful and peaceful as Gandalf remembered. Approaching his destination, the wizard decided to play a harmless bit of magic to announce his arrival.

Bilbo was just starting to let his mind wander when the smoke ring he had just blown miraculously transformed into a butterfly and hit him square in the face.

He was here!

Through the smoke just starting to clear from around his face Bilbo was able to make out the vague appearance of a pointed grey hat sitting atop of an equally gray, rather haggard looking, old man. Except this wasn't just any gray old man but the very wizard that Bilbo had been waiting on. The Hobbits heart jumped.

"good morning!" Bilbo greated exuberantly.

"what do mean?" Gandalf inquired, raising an eyebrow as he looked down at the hobbit "do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

Bilbo put on a faux thinking face. "All of them at once I suppose" the Hobbit decided, smiling.

Gandalf made a disgruntled noise but the twitching at the corners of his mouth gave him away.

"can I help you?" the Hobbit inquired; feigning innocence.

"that remains to be seen" replied Gandalf in that mysterious, roundabout, way of his. The wizard cleared his throat, "I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure" Gandalf said as he leaned down, gripping tight on his staff.

"is that so, Master Gandalf?" Bilbo smirked at the look of surprise on the old wizard's face. Bilbo thought the coming adventure might not be so bad after all.

"yes…so you remember me after all, master Baggins" It wasn't a question.

"But of course! How could I forget someone with such ,marvelus fireworks!" the Hobbit replied, his grin widening.

"I would have hoped to be remembered for more than just my fireworks" he replied with a sniff.

"So, what of this adventure you're inquiring about?" Bilbo asked, getting back to the matter at hand.

"Right!" Gandalf seemed to gather his thoughts. "Actually' I'm a bit pressed for time at the moment, how about I come 'round tonight for supper and we may discuss it?" Gandalf smiled down at him.

"Excellent! Shall I be expecting just you then?" inquired Bilbo, knowing the answer.

"As a matter of fact, their might be a few others if that's alright"

"of course! The more the merrier!"

As soon as Gandalf had taken his leave Bilbo dashed back into the house to commence preparations for supper. He had made big meals like this before on various occasions, mostly for large holiday gatherings, if there was one thing he had learned it was that it would take a very long time to prepare and he must get started right away. Cooking was also a good distraction, it saved him from thinking of the night ahead. He started with the dishes he knew would take the longest, like the pumpkin pie for example which would need to bake for an hour and then cool for just as long if not longer, followed by the things that had to be cool or at least at room temperature, like the macaroni salad.

During his cooking he tried to recall the different kinds of food each of his Dwarfs preferred; he remembered that Balin had favored spicy foods and Nori had liked his food saltier than was probably healthy and that Gloin had a taste for maple. Bilbo made sure to make something for everyone, he was determined to make a good first impression this time around, he knew that he hadn't exactly won any points with the company last time by answering the door in his dressing gown and a fool temper.

He was just setting the last casserole dish on the dining room table when he heard the first knock of the night. Now Bilbo had known that he was going to experience some sort of emotional shock at seeing his old friends again but truly nothing he had, or could have, done prepared him for the intense surge of emotion he felt at seeing a face he thought he would never again lay his eyes on. Guilt, relief, pain, joy and shock where just a few among the torrent of sentiment that flowed through him at seeing Dwalin's familiar scowling face, it seemed that even three weeks wasn't enough time to prepare himself.

"Dwalin, at your service. would you be Master Baggins?" asked the tattooed Dwarf, pulling Bilbo out of his head.

"Ah! Yes! yes, Please come in." if seeing Dwalin was enough to nearly bring him to tears, then he wasn't sure how he was going to make it through the night without arousing suspicion.

"Much obliged master Hobbit" He thanked gruffly as he shoved his way inside and tossed his cloak on top of the flustered halfling.

"I was told there would be food?" It was more of a demand then a question.

"Y-yes, just right down the hall and you can put your weapons in that trunk if you'd like" Bilbo answered, pointing to the trunk he had specifically put out for weapons as he hung Dwalins cloak on the rack by the door.

Dwalin tossed his axe into the trunk before hurrying down the hall, Bilbo could hear the noise of a chair scraping against the wood floor in the dining room followed by the sound of dishes and flatware clanking together. The Hobbit smiled to himself even as his eyes welled with tears. As amazing as it was to see his old friend the knowledge of what was to come pained him greatly but he knew now was not the time to wallow in self-pity, after all this wasn't about him and as much as he wanted to be entirely selfish, as was his nature, he knew he couldn't. not this time.

He pulled himself out of his brooding and followed Dwalin into the dining room.

"I hope this will be enough food, I don't know about Dwarfs, but Hobbits eat quite a lot." Bilbo smiled pleasantly.

"Indeed, Master Hobbit, we Dwarfs are too known for our large appetites. This is quite the feast you have prepared, I'm sure the others will greatly appreciate it; it has been a long journey for all of us." Dwalin answered as he gratefully started eating, it was clear that he had not had a proper meal in quite a while, that thought saddened the halfling.

"yes, well, we Hobbits are known for hospitality and it's been quite a while since I've had guests, I was more than happy to cook" Bilbo replied, and it was true, he had been more than happy to prepare the feast, after all he knew It would likely be the last square meal any of them had until they reached Rivendell.

Dwalin seemed to consider him for a moment. "I can't claim to know much about Hobbits but you're certainly not what I expected" choosing to take that as a good thing, Bilbo nodded. Just then there was another knock at the door.

"I'll get it, you keep eating" on his way to the door Bilbo tried to remember who would be arriving next. he shrugged, figuring he would find out in a moment anyway, he opened the round door and his breath caught in his was Balin. Bilbo could plainly remember the terrible grief that struck him when Frodo had told him of his dear friends' death in the halls of Moria along with his brother and sweet, innocent, Ori. That was another thing he hoped to prevent this time around."it

"looks like it's going to rain later" Balin commented as he looked up at the sky. Bilbo looked up too, it did seem like some clouds where moving in.

"hope it clears up by morning, wet and cold is no way to start an adventure" Bilbo added with a playful smile, though on the inside his heart was aching

"Indeed! Indeed!" Balin laughed and Bilbo's heart leapt; it was amazing to see his friend so full of life again.

"I'm Balin, at your service." The Dwarf introduced himself.

"Bilbo Baggins at yours! Please come in, you can hang your cloak there and put any weapons or such in that trunk." Bilbo invited.

"My thanks, very comfortable home you've got here master Baggins" Balin complimented as he deposited his weapons in the trunk next to his brothers.

"Balin!" shouted a voice from behind them.

Bilbo turned around to see Dwalin who had apparently decided to come investigate the new arrival, the Hobbit watched with a slight flinch as they headbutted each other in greeting. Bilbo had never thought about it until now, but this was probably the first time the brothers had seen each other in who knew how long and it only made Bilbo's resolve to save them that much harder

"Come brother," started Dwalin "there is much to talk about and master Hobbit has prepared quite the meal for us."

"Ah, lovely! I had hoped there be food" replied Balin as he let himself be lead down the hall towards the dining room.

Bilbo watched as they departed down the hall with a sad smile. Yes, it was great to see his dear friends again, but it was more painful then he could possibly describe, his heart clenched and ached at the the thought of what was to come and not knowing if he was truly going to be able to stop it when the time came. The Hobbit shook his head and tried to collect himself he still had 11 more Dwarfs to greet and he couldn't be a blubbering mess when they came.

Two knocks sounded at the door. _Two knocks. That could only mean-_

Bilbo opened the door and fond he could hardly breath for torrent of emotion tightening his throat, his amber eyes widening and welling with sadness, a tremble in lip.

"Fili- "

"- and Kili-" "At your service! You must be mister Boggins!" The painfully familiar trouble making duo finished speaking together as they bowed in unison. lifting themselves, with big, mischievous, grins on their faces as if nothing could have pleased them more than to be seeing Bilbo standing there trying and failing to keep his emotions in check.

When the Hobbit had last seen them they were laying, dead, on a bloody battlefield their hands clasped together as if, even in death, they couldn't bear to be parted. The memory was as painful now as it was the day it was made.

"Ye-yes, yes." he finally replied, his voice cracking with intense emotion. He cleared his throat and hurriedly blinked tears from his eyes "Please come in there's supper just down the hall. You can hang your cloaks there and put your weapons in the trunk with the others." Bilbo went on with fuxe confidence.

"Oh! Is there food?! I'm famished!" Kili said with exuberance as he carelessly tossed his cloak at the poor Hobbit and half heartedly tossed his weapons in the general direction of the trunk (which landed a good 2 feet away from its target) in his haste to get to the food.

 _Some things never change_ Bilbo thought as he hung up the young prince's cloak.

"Sorry about my brother, he's a bit…" Fili trailed off, seeming to be searching for the right words to describe his brother but coming up empty.

Bilbo laughed. "It's okay, he actually reminds me a bit of some of the younger Hobbits that sometimes try to sneak into my garden and steal my vegetables."and It was true, Kili and Fili had always reminded him of Merry and Pippin.

Fili laughed as he hung his cloak and put both his and kili's weapons properly in the trunk.

"A nice home you have here master Boggins, but I expected as much of course" the blonde commented confidently as he took in the rest of the room.

"HA!" sounded a voice from across the room, they both turned to see Kili leaning comfortably against the doorway to the dining room, baked chicken leg in hand.

"weren't you the who said that you thought Hobbits lived In filthy holes in the ground filled with worms an- "Kili was cut off abruptly by his brother hastily slapping a hand over the brunettes mouth.

"that's quite enough now dear brother" Fili said through clenched teeth and a forced smile.

"I'm very sorry master Boggins I- "Fili was the one cut off this time though not by a hand on his mouth but by the loud laughter of Bilbo who was not so much insulted but greatly amused by the antics of the two brothers.

"it's alright, I'm not offended" Bilbo assured them once he had regained his breath, seeing his dwarves so lively and carefree once more was as amusing as it was painful.

The brothers looked at each other, wide-eyed before shrugging unanimously and making their way into the dining room with the others.

Bilbo whipped his eyes, tears of joy and sorrow alike, miking in his eyes. It was more uplifting then he could ever say to see them so free and innocent, not yet corrupted by the darkness of war and death. Bilbo would love nothing more than to keep that innocence alive, but he knew that there were some things he just wouldn't be able to save. No matter how much he wanted to.

He shook his head sadly before following the brothers into the dining room, though being interrupted halfway there by another knock on the door, Bilbo answered the loud knock and promptly wished he hadn't, for not a second later he was crushed by the weight of seven dwarves piled on top of him. He then heard the familiar laugh of a very meddlesome old codger. At that moment Bilbo very much felt like killing the barmy old wizard. Slowly the weight decreased as the Dwarves got off him.

Five minutes later Bilbo was sat in his chair by the fire, rubbing his tender ribs as Bombur apologized profusely. Sweet, gentle, Bombur, though Bilbo had not been particularly close with him he had admired the Dwarf for his kind disposition and cooking skills though one thing he did not miss was the gingers coordination or lack thereof.

"it's alright master Dwarf, really I'm fine" Bilbo assured him though he wasn't so sure about that himself. Gandalf chuckled again, and Bilbo glared up at him.

"And where exactly have you been, master Gandalf?" Bilbo huffed accusatively, already quite exasperated with his old friend. The wizard at least had the good grace to look sheepish.

"yes, well, I'm afraid I had some last-minute arrangements to make but I'm here now" Someone cleared their throat and Bilbo turned to see Dori staring at him.

"We haven't introduced ourselves; I'm Dori at your service," he introduced himself politely if a bit cooley, "and these are my brothers Ori and Nori" he finished gesturing to both in turn as he spoke.

Bilbo smiled at each of them even as his heart clenched and throat tightened at the sight of their young faces so full of life. Nori, the most honorable and kind thief Bilbo had ever had the pleasure of meeting and Ori, sweet and so very brave and kind. Bilbo would have liked nothing more than to keep him in Bag-End, safe from all evils of the world.

Bilbo felt a warm hand on his shoulder and turned to face the source. "I'm Bofur at your service master Hobbit," Bofur's smile was warm and welcoming and the Hobbit could remember quite clearly how Bofur had been the first one to offer him a hand in friendship the first-time round and Bilbo would make sure to do the same this time.

"you have already met my brother Bomber, and this is our cousin Bifur." Bofur finished gesturing to each in turn. Bilbo looked at Bifur and realized just how little really he knew about him. During the first-time round he had never really spent any time with him, mostly because of the language barrier, the Hobbit was determined to fix that this time. He really wanted to know more about all his Dwarves and nothing was going to stop him.

A familiar axe shoved it's way through the crowded of Dwarves followed by a very familiar redhead.

"And i'm Gloin, at your service" he introduced with a bow, it never ceased to amaze Bilbo how much he looked like his son.

"Bilbo Baggins, it's very nice to meet all of you. There is supper down the hall if you're hungry, the others have already arrived." Bilbo finally replied.

The seven Dwarf smiled joyously and wasted no time in making their way to the dining room with the others.

"So, tell me Bilbo, what do you think of the company thus far?" asked Gandalf. Bilbo blinked up at him from his chair and thought about that for a moment.

Bilbo remembered his first impression of the Dwarves the last time. He had thought that they were a bunch of mindless brutes who needed to get out of his house and stop eating his food. But over the course of their journey he had learned more about them and who they really were. He had learned of Dwalin's fierce loyalty and secret kindness that he tried to pretend he didn't have, he learned to appreciate Oin's codling and fussing, he learned to love hearing Gloin talk endlessly about his wife and son, he learned to love and laugh at Fili and Kili's jokes and mischievousness, he learned of Bofur's unwavering love for his brother and cousin, he learned of Bifur's determination to help his king, he learned of Bombur's kindness and cheerful disposition, he learned to value Dori's mother-hen-ing, he learned to marvel at the bravery Ori didn't even know he had, he learned to love Nori's protective nature, he learned to listen to Balins wise words and above all he had learned to love like had never loved before or ever again because of one very stubborn yet annoyingly handsome Dwarf king.

"They are not what I would have expected but I think that makes them special." He said as he looked over at his Dwarves in the dining room "They are all very different, yet they seem to fit together so seamlessly. I think I could really learn to care for them if I decided to go with them" There was silence as Bilbo continued to watch his Dwarves and Gandalf considered the Hobbits word carefully.

There was a loud knock at the door.

"He's here" Gandalf said with much drama.

Bilbo's Heart stopped.


	3. Chapter 3 familiar face's

Chapter 4

As soon as his heart began to beat again, it started running as if chased by a pack of blood thirsty Orcs.

 _He was here._

 _shit._

Bilbo watched as if in slow motion as Gandalf opened his little round door to reveal the face of hs greatest heartache. Suddenly, the Hobbit couldn't hear, couldn't see anything that was happening in front of him, just that day, all could see was the the day Bilbo had lost his one…

 _The air tasted matalik and smelled putrid with the rotting stench of death, although that hardly registered in the burglars mind as he stared down through blurry eyes upon the near lifeless face of the one person he would, not only die for but live for as well._

" _Go back to your books, your fireplace. Plant your trees, watch them grow. If more of us valued home above gold, it would be a merrier world" were the last, bitter-sweet words given to Bilbo before all traces life faded from Thorin's eyes._

"Bilbo!"

The Hobbit was pulled from his grim musingings by Gandalf's voice. He hastily stood up from his chair and determinedly pushed his feelings aside, he couldn't afford a break down right now.

"Yes, my apologies master Gandalf. I'm afraid i was lost in thought" it wasn't a lie. The wizard gave him a calculating look but let it pass.

"This is Thorin oakenshield, the leader of our company" Gandalf introduced with a dramatic awave of his hand. Thorin raised an eyebrow at a, very nervous Bilbo, clearly unimpressed.

"So this is the Hobbit? He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." the king commented shrewdly. Though at the moment Bilbo was more concerned with the erratic behavior of his heart in his throat then Thorin's current opinion of him.

"Well, a good burglar never really looks the part do they?" the Hobbit asked rhetorically. Maybe If he kept talking then he wouldn't think and the less thinking he did the better off he, and everyone else, was.

"No, i suppose not" The king answered slowly before turning his attentions back to the meddlesome wizard.

"Gandalf, i thought you said this place would be easy to find? I lost my way. Twice."

The old wizard looked more amused then sorry. Which didn't surprise Bilbo one bit. He looked around himself and realized that everyone else had filtered in from the dining room by now.

"Well, never mind that now. I'm sure you're hungry, there should still be some food left in the dining room" Bilbo shoot a look at the other Dwarves, as if to say 'there had better be'. Thorin nodded at him and the Baggins lead the way into to the dining room and put together a plate of ham, squash casserole and the last bit of blackberry cobbler. He remembered Balin once telling him that the king had a weakness for all things blackberry and if the way Thorin's eyes lit up was any indication, the old Dwarf had been right.

"My thanks, master Hobbit" Thorin murmured gratefully as he sat down.

Bilbo nodded at him and made his way to the back of the room, where his thought finally consumed him.

 _Death. As far as the eye could see. Hundreds of bodies of all kinds littered the battle field, painting the air red with blood, you could still smell the fear in the air but all Bilbo could see was the, cold, unmoving, face of his king. Tears still streamed down his dirt and blood covered cheeks but he paid them no mind, simply staring down into the lifeless eyes of the one he had so desperately tried to save. The one he had so desperately loved._

"-do not have the skill to find it but there are others in middle earth who can"

 _He couldn't help but think that if he had handheld thing differently then maybe Thorin would still be alive. Maybe Fili and Kili would still be alive but he had failed them. Failed, failed, failed…_

"-lbo? Bilbo!"

Bilbo looked up with a start.

"Yes?"

"Are you sure you're quite alright?" Gandalf inquired with a half concerned half suspicious look.

"Oh yes, i'm fine master Gandalf. Now what where you saying?" Bilbo tried to direct the conversation back to the matter at hand, he didn't want the wizard to think too much on his suspicious behavior.

"We were just discussing your part in our adventure, if you decide to come with us, that is." Balin answered this time.

"The wizard seems sure of your abilities as our burglar but the rest of us do not agree." Thorin put in, staring at the Hobbit with obvious doubt in his steel blue eyes.

"Well i suppose that's to be expected, none of you have seen my abilities for yourself. All i can say in my own defense is that hobbits are remarkably quick on our feet and you would have to be an Elf to hear us when we want to go unheard." Bilbo shot back lightly as he stared down at the all to familiar map.

The Dwarves murmured amongst themselves, Gandalf smiled down at him, pleased with his words. It was refreshing to see his old friend smiling again, it felt like it had been much too long since he had last seen it.

The Hobbit knew that, despite his words of assurance, the only way his Dwarves would believe him would be to see his skills for themselves and since that wouldn't be for quite awhile, Bilbo would have to find some other way to prove himself.

"If you decide to join my company i will try my best to watch over you, same as the rest but i cannot guarantee your safety or life." Thorin finally announced matter-of-factly, staring the Hobbit down.

Blushing, Bilbo nodded along with his kings words, for he fully agreed with them.

"I would never ask you to put your life ahead of my own nor would i ask you to put my life ahead of any in your company." he agreed.

"Bilbo, it's ill advised to throw your life around with such carelessness" Gandalf reprimand.

Maybe that would have scared him the first time but Bilbo had known the meddlesome goat for much too long to be swayed that easily.

"No Gandalf, it's not me being self sacrificing just simply logical, i'm a no name Hobbit from a place half the creatures in Middle Earth don't even know exist. I have no spouse or child nor am i especially important, even here. Master Thorin on the other hand is a king who is trying to reclaim his kingdom for his people, he needs to see this through to the end. His life matters more than mine." The Hobbit countered firmly

Gandalf looked miffed but let it be for now.

His Dwarves however looked impressed and taken aback at his little speech, like they didn't know what to make of him anymore.

"Balin, give him the contract to look over" Thorin said briskly, a strange look in his eye as he stared at the Hobbit. Bilbo barley stopped himself from squirming in his seat, although he couldn't quite stopped the blush still spreading over his cheeks.

Balin did as told and handed him the contract.

The Hobbit took the contract and walked into the sitting room, he made it appear as if he was carefully reading it over when in fact he was thinking of how on earth he was going to make it through the night without breaking.

"Well that seems to be in order then." he announced once he felt like he had been staring at the contract for long enough. He grabbed a quill and ink pot from a side table and wondered back into the dining room to stunned looks, well, except for Gandalf who just looked smug.

"I've been wasting away in this hole for long enough, i could do with a nice adventure." Bilbo said as way of explanation.

He dipped his quill into the ink pot and signed his name with a flourish next to KIlis signature.

There was no going back now, the adventure had begun.


	4. Chapter 4 breakfast blues

Chapter 5

Hobbits were very strange creatures. _Well, maybe not all of them but this one was._

Thorin thought as he pulled out his harp.

Everyone had decided to play a bit of music as a way to wined down before they turned in for the night. Hopefully it would put them in good spirits for when they departed next morning.

Master Baggins had retired further into the smial a while ago, saying he had some affairs to set in order before they left tomorrow. The wizard was lounging in a chair smoking his pipe, his brow creased and a far-off look in his eye as if in deep thought.

Once everyone was set with there instruments in hand they started to play a very, painfully, familiar tune.

Bilbo had left his Dwarves and retreated to his study an hour ago to wright a very important letter he had only just realized he needed to wright, apparently three weeks just wasn't enough time.

It was a letter to Gandalf. A letter that he would only give the wizard if he died before the Quest was over. About everything that had happened the first time, about Frodo and the one ring, about Sauron and Saruman and how sorry he was that they would never have the same friendship that they had the first time. He told of how selfish he had been and still was.

He was just writing out how he would haunt the old goat if he didn't watch over Frodo when he heard a soft somber tune drifting in the air from the sitting room, and then a voice gentle yet strong drifting into the Hobbits ears making his throat tighten, warm tears, once again making their way down his face.

Bilbo quietly walked down the hall, stopping just outside of the doorway to the sitting room, not even trying to quell his emotions, he knew it would be pointless anyway.

 _Far over the Misty Mountains cold,_

 _To dungeons deep and caverns old,_

 _We must away, ere break of day,_

 _To seek our pale enchanted gold._

 _The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,_

 _While hammers fell like ringing bells,_

 _In places deep, where dark things sleep,_

 _In hollow halls beneath the fells._

 _For_ _ancient king_ _and_ _elvish lord_

 _There many a_ _gleaming golden hoard_

 _They shaped and wrought, and light they caught,_

 _To hide in gems on hilt of sword._

 _On silver necklaces they strung_

 _The flowering stars, on crowns they hung_

 _The dragon-fire, on twisted wire_

 _They meshed the light of moon and sun._

 _Far over the Misty Mountains cold,_

 _To dungeons deep and caverns old,_

 _We must away, ere break of day,_

 _To claim our long-forgotten gold._

 _Goblets they carved there for themselves,_

 _And harps of gold, where no man delves_

 _There lay they long, and many a song_

 _Was sung unheard by men or elves._

 _The pines were roaring on the heights,_

 _The wind was moaning in the night,_

 _The fire was red, it flaming spread,_

 _The trees like torches blazed with light._

 _The bells were ringing in the dale,_

 _And men looked up with faces pale._

 _The dragon's ire, more fierce than fire,_

 _Laid low their towers and houses frail._

 _The mountain smoked beneath the moon._

 _The dwarves, they heard the tramp of doom._

 _They fled the hall to dying fall_

 _Beneath his feet, beneath the moon._

 _Far over the Misty Mountains grim,_

 _To dungeons deep and caverns dim,_

 _We must away, ere break of day,_

 _To win our harps and gold from him!_

By the end of the song Bilbo's face was flooded with the sorrow he felt for his Dwarves. It had been so long since he had last heard the tale he had almost forgotten just how heartbreakingly beautiful it was.

He turned quickly back down the hall before anyone saw him though he didn't notice a pair of grim steel eyes watching him as he dashed down the hall.

 _Very strange indeed._

Bilbo awoke at rusters call the next morning, feeling refreshed with a great sense of anticipation for the days to come.

He dressed quickly in a simple vest, cotton shirt and trousers and strode into the kitchen to prepare breakfast, He started frying up sausage and bacon in a pan over the fire. Cooking had always been one of his greatest comforts in life, he was going to miss it on their journey

Ori walked in while the Hobbit was mixing berries into the porridge, yawning all the while.

"Good morning master Baggins, something smells good." The scribe commented as he blinked the sleep out of his eyes and plopped unceremoniously into a chair at the kitchen table.

"Good morning master Ori." Bilbo chriped brightly, "Would you like some tea or coffee?" he injured.

"Just tea thanks, Dori says i shouldn't have coffee, that it makes me jittery" Ori replied with a smile

The Hobbit chuckled as he pulled raspberry muffins out of the oven, the fact that Dori wouldn't let him have coffee didn't surprise him at all but it was still amusing.

Just then Dwalin came stumbling in, a groan on his lips and a hand on his head, obviously suffering from the previous night

"Morning master Dwalin" Ori called with a smile, Dwalin let out another groan.

"Do you hav' ta shout lad?" The tattooed Dwarf asked rhetorically as he sat down and laid his head on the table. Bilbo chuckled again.

The Hobbit ventured into his cupboards and pulled out a jar of a special hangover tea his mother had invented, the Burglar had a feeling he would be using quite a lot of it this morning, also pulling out a simple camomile for Ori.

"Here you are" he said placing the tea in front of their respective owners. Ori thanked him, Dwalin grunted.

"That's a special Hobbit tea, it works wonders for hangovers." The Hobbit commented, while he flipped the bacon.

He was also preparing food for the upcoming journey, packing cooked meat in brown paper and putting together small jars of spices. He had thought of making Lembas bread but then he decided he didn't want to explain to Gandalf how he knew the recipe.

Like Bilbo's thoughts had somehow summoned him the old wizard came in at that moment looking in quite a state indeed, it was apparent that Dwalin wasn't the only one who had too much to drink last night.

"You wouldn't happen to have some of that hangover tea your mother use to make, would you?" he asked leaning heavily on his staff as he sat down.

"I've already got it out master Gandalf." Bilbo replied with a smirk, getting a mug.

"My thanks" the wizard murmured.

"Is the food almost ready?"

"Almost, master Ori, i'm just waiting for the tarts to finish baking" the burglar replied with a smile.

"Did someone say tarts?" Kili walked in at that moment followed closely by a haggard looking Fili.

"Yes i did, they'll be ready in a few minutes" the Hobbit mumbled, opening the oven to check on them and getting a face full of hot air in the process.

"But i'm hungry nooooow!" The brunette whined as he plopped down into a seat next to Gandalf with Fili sitting opposite him.

"Do not whine, it's unbecoming" Thorin reprimanded his nephew as he strode in.

Kili nearly pouted as his brother laughed loudly. Gandalf and Dwalin both let out groans of deepest agony.

"Good morning master Thorin" Bilbo chirped as he finally pulled the strawberry and blueberry tarts out of the oven.

Thorin nodded at him as he sat down next to Dwalin.

"You look unwell, are you sure you can handle fighting a dragon if a bit of ale has you in such a state" Thorin asked his friend with mouck concern

Dwalin glared at the king as if he were an Elf.

"I didn't think someone so stoic was capable of making a joke" Bilbo commented with all seriousness as he put plates and forks on the table. _This is good,_ he thought, _just keep casual and no one will notice how fast your heart is beating._

Thorin was the one glaring this time while Fili and kili were looking him as if he had just defeated Smaug and reclaimed Erebor single handedly, even Dwalin was smiling appreciatively.

"I think we're going to get along quite well master Boggins" Fili said as he laughed, Kili didn't stop chuckling until Bilbo set a plate of eggs, bacon, sausage and of course a tart in front of him, his eyes immediately lighting up as he started eating.

Throughout the next hour everyone found their way into the kitchen, many of them needing his special tea. When Bombur came in he struck up a conversation with Bilbo about the kind of spices he had used on the lamb the night before. After everyone was fed and watered they all started to get ready to leave.

Bilbo made his way into his room to retrieve the bag he had packed last night then wondered outside were everyone else was already waiting.

"Are you ready master Bilbo?" Gandalf called, standing just outside the gate.

"Yes. yes, i think so" he replied hoisting is bag higher on his shoulder.

"Then let's be off" Thorin announced, already marching away with the others.

Bilbo looked back at his home for what may be the last time but he didn't feel any sadness or regret, he found that he was completely fine with leaving and possibly never coming back as long as it meant saving the ones he cared for.

He locked the door, turned away and caught up with the others were he found Fili and Kili in the middle of some kind of playful argument, Gandalf was discussing something with Balin, Dori was scolding Nori for something while Ori watched his brothers with concerned amusement, Gloin was telling stories of his wife and child to anyone who would listen.

Yes, he didn't mind leaving at all.

Bilbo. Hated. Ridding.

It made sense why, Hobbits were never very fond of it but having to do it again made him remember just how horrible it was. His thighs chafed, it was bumpy, his pony smelled and his back ached, he liked ponys well enough but Hobbits really weren't meant for such thing.

Much to his dismay he was going to be stuck ridding for some time. They had left the borders of the Shire and hour ago and were well on there way now.

Bilbo's heart no longer did backflips every time he looked at his very much alive companions though it did still ache a bit it was to a tolerable extent now. He looked over to Fili and Kili who were riding side by side like always. He remembered how Fili had decided to stay in lake town to be with his brother rather then going with them to Erebor, he had always admired just how close and loyal they were to each other. It was refreshing to be able to see that again.

"Mister Baggins?" Bofur rode up beside him.

"Hello master Bofur" he returned with a smile.

"Can i ask you a question?" he inquired

"ofcourse"

"Are all Hobbits as accepting as you?" he asked slowly

"How do you mean?" Bilbo was a little confused.

"Well, it's just that most races aren't to accepting to outsiders but you just sort of took us right in without question, do all Hobbits do that?" The hatted Dwarf finished with a sideways tilt of his head.

"Oh! No they don't really, most Hobbits aren't to fond of outsiders, i mean they will always be polite just suspicious." The burglar explained

"Then how come you aren't?" Bombur inquired further as he rode up beside them.

"Uh...my mother liked to travel, she use to travel to Rivendell to see the Elves and when i was young she sometimes took me with her. Both my mother and the Elves taught me to be courteous to everyone no matter what race and they taught me to never judge anyone based on how they look." It was the best excuse he could come up with in the heat of the moment, he hadn't expected anyone to ask such a question.

"What in the world would ya' want to visit Elves for?" Bofur asked, appalled.

"Well Hobbits don't really have anything against them and they were always nice to me and my mother." he replied with a half smile, he had always found it funny how much Dwarfs and Elves hate each other.

"They might seem nice but Elves are no good, the damn leaf eaters" a new voice comments from somewhere to Bilbo's left.

Bilbo turned his head and saw that Fili and Kili had joined them at some point during their conversation.

"Mister Kili is right mister Baggins, Elves are not to be trusted" Bombur put in.

The Hobbit rolled his eyes at there words

"I know Dwarfs don't like Elves but i think you're being a bit ridiculous." he muttered.

"We are not!" Fili countered with a dramatic wave of his hand. "There are good reasons that Dwarfs don't trust Elves" he finished with a nod of his head.

"I'm sure there are but one bad Elf does not define the whole race." The Burglar shot back.

Fili sniffed with a sour look on his face but said nothing more, Bilbo counted that as a win, although if he wanted to get his Dwarves to trust him then perhaps he shouldn't be arguing with them, especially about Elves.

They had set up camp for the night near a small cliff off the road, Bilbo laid out his bedroll on the softest bit of grass he could find, a little bit apart from where the others were setting up closer to the fire and Bombur who was just getting supper started.

He still found it hard to believe that they were all alive and that he had been given this second chance to try and save them. Bilbo glanced over at Thorin who was studying the map that was so vital to their journey. Even now he found it hard to look at the king, when he had talked to him briefly that morning he had thought he might pass out. Thorin. Stubborn, brave, handsome Thorin. He didn't even know what to make of seeing his old love again. His heart pounded in his chest, his hands became clammy and he could swear that a horde of rampaging Wargs were running amuck in his stomach. In other words he felt like a damn tween again, which was not an experience he ever wanted to repeat.

He attempted to shake himself of his, not exactly pleasant, thoughts. He wandered over to Bombur in an attempted to distract his mind, though he told himself it was to see if there was something he could do to help.

"Good evening master Bombur, what are you cooking?" the Hobbit injured lightly.

The ginger Dwarf jumped from where he was leaning over his pot, startled.

"Oh! I'm uh, i'm making beef stew ladie" He replied once he righted himself. Bombur fidgeted a moment, leaning his weight from foot to foot, looking a little stuck, finally he spoke. "Master Baggins, if i may ask, what did you put in that beef stew of yours last night? It was very good" he finished hurriedly.

Bilbo blinked at him a moment, well it seems his food had made a good impression after all.

"Well, um, thank you, it's nothing special really, just a oregano, cumin, cinnamon, basil, parsley, pepper and a bit of rosemary from my garden" he looked down as he felt heat raise in his cheeks, fiddling with his fingers as he shuffled his feet.

"Ah! Of course!"

Bilbo looked up abruptly at the sound of Bombur's loud voice.

"Cinnamon! Of course! I never would have thought of that. Now tell me…" and he was off asking all sorts of questions regarding all thing cooking and food, with Bilbo answering in turn, equally as pleased to have someone to talk with about such a familiar topic as cooking.

Bilbo couldn't say he had know Bombur particularly well when he had returned to the shire the first time but he did know that he wasn't a worrier by nature, rather a kind hearted Dwarf with a warm smile and a love for the simpler things in life. He reminded Bilbo a bit of himself in that respect. Even though Bilbo very much loved a nice adventure every once in awhile, he did still enjoy his books and soft armchair, just not as much, at least not any more

Bilbo decided he would get to know as much about Bombur as he could while on their quest. After all he might not get another chance.

"It's our little secret Myrtle, you must tell no one." Bilbo whispered as he feed an apple to his pony, just then the sound of screaches could be heard in the distance, makinging the Hobbit jump though he knew what was to come next.

"What was that?" he asked, turning towards the fire. he knew the answer of course but he wanted to hear it again.

"Orcs." KIli answered with, what appeared to be seriousness, though Bilbo could see right throw it.

"Orcs?" The Burglar asked with mouck concern, now moving to sit at the fire with the princes.

"Throat cutters, they'll be dozens of them out there." Fili continued.

"The lowlands are crawling with them, they strike in the wee hours of the mornings when everyone's asleep, quick and quite; no screams, just lots of blood." Kili finished their dramatic speech, cracking up immediately afterwards only to be sobered by the stern voice of their uncle.

"I didn't mean anything by it" the archer apologized.

"No you didn't. You know nothing of the world" Thorin muttered darkly as he stalked past Bilbo, had he not of know the story the Hobbit would have thought Thorin over dramatic, actually, he still did.

"Don't mind him laddie, Thorin has more cause then most to hate Orcs." Balin assured, walking over, "after the dragon took the lonely mountain, king Thror tried to reclaim the ancient Dwarf kingdom of Moria but our enemy had got there first. Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs lead by the most vial of all their race; Azog the defiler, the giant had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by beheading the king. Thrain, Thorin's father was driven mad by grief, he went missing, imprisoned or killed we did not know. We were leaderless, defeat and death were upon us. That is when i saw him; a young Dwarf prince facing down the pale Orc, he stood alone against the terrible foe, his armor rendered, wielding only an oaken branch as a shield. Azog the defiler learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken. Our forces rallied we drove the Orcs back, our enemy had been defeated but there was no feast nor song that night for our dead were beyond the count of grief we few had survived and i thought to myself then, there is one who i could follow, there is one i could call king." The company all looked to Thorin as Balin finished his tale standing stoic and vigilant, there they saw someone they too could call king, although if you looked closely enough into the Thorin's steel eyes you could see a pain that ran much too deep for any of them to understand. It's that pain that worried the Hobbit.

 _I had forgotten about this part._ Bilbo thought miserably as the company trudged along through sheets of rain. It had been like this for two days and frankly everyone was tired of it. The murose weather did nothing to keep the Hobbit out of his own head, the dark clouds converging upon the sky only served to remind him of the darkness about to embark on the world. The war. A catastrophic collision of all the races of MIddle earth, before finally being won by the hands of an Elf, a Dwarf, a wizard, a woman, two men and four amazing Hobbits one of which he loved and cared for above all else.

Despite his age in which the war had been won he could remember it well, despite his eyes being half blind Bilbo could still see the change in his dear Frodo's eyes, he could see the toll the ring had taken upon his nephew. The thought saddened the Burglar greatly, even now when he had the chance to change that fate, to destroy the ring and end the war before it ever began. The notion frightened him a bit, the mere idea of trekking through the dead plains of Mordor, and up the jagged terrain of Mount Doom was enough to send shivers of dread down his spine but he would rather die than see Frodo succumb to that fate once again.

"Mister Gandalf can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori's voice snapped Bilbo out of his less than pleasant thought and back into his less than pleasant surroundings.

"It is raining master Dwarf and it will continue to rain until the rain is done." the wizard replied irritably, "if you wish to change the weather of the world you should find yourself another wizard.

"Are there any?" Ori piped up, bearly adubal through the rain

"Any what?"

"Any other Wizards?" the scribe elaborated.

"There are five of us, the highest of our order is Saruman the white then there are the two blues, you know i've quite forgotten their names, then there is Radagast the brown." Gandalf finished.

"Is he a great wizard or is he more like you?" Bilbo jabed, unable to help himself.

"I think he's a very great wizard" he answered a bit indignantly, "in his own way, he's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others, he keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the east and a good thing too, always evil will look too find the foot hools in this world." the wizard finished

"Gandalf, was there ever a time in which you were not dramatic?" the Hobbit asked rhetorically.

Fili and Kili gafuad from behind them while Gandalf looked more indignant the ever.

A/N: okay so i'm probably not going to be doing many of these authors notes but i have a question, i was thinking about what to do with Smaug, my original plan was just to do the regular thing and kill but then i saw some human!Smaug fanart and i thought what if Bilbo found a way to turn Smaug good?( this would include jealous Thorin and an interesting BotFA) so what do you think? Let me know in the comments if you want me to do 'good Smaug' or 'bad Smaug'.

-Dork


	5. Chapter 5 Concerning Trolls

Chapter 5

"We will camp here for the night." Thorin called to the company as they came upon a run down farmhouse.

Bilbo gratefully got off his pony as the king called for Fili and Kili to watch the ponys, the Hobbit snorted under his breath, _last time you'll make that mistake to be sure._

"I think it would be wiser to move on." Gandalf called as he inspected the house, "we could make for the hidden valley."

The Hobbit stopped listening, knowing how the argument would end, although he really wished Thorin could stop himself from agitating the wizard, though he might as well wish for the sky to turn pink for all the good it would do.

"Gandalf where are you going?" Bilbo called as the gray wizard stormed past.

"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense," he answered as he continued to walk away.

"And whos that?"

"Myself mister Baggins! I've had enough Dwarves for one day." And just like that Gandalf was gone. Good job Thorin.

Night had fallen upon the company now, with Gandalf still nowhere in sight. Bilbo knew he was coming back, but he still couldn't help but worry.

"Mister Bilbo! Do us a favor and take these to the lads," Bofur called out. The Hobbit sighed, knowing what was coming but nodded nonetheless, taking the bowls and making his way over to Fili and Kili who stode with their backs to him completely unmoving.

"What's the matter?" the Hobbit asked in exasperation.

"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies" Kili started

"Only we've encountered a slight problem," Fili went on

"We had sixteen now there's fourteen." the brunette finished darkly. You'd almost think they were twins with how they talked. "Daisy and Bungle are missing," he went on, now walking around where the ponies were supposed to be, Bilbo following along still holding the princes' supper in his hands.

"Well that is not good, and that is not good at all," the Hobbit said needlessly as they came upon an upturned tree. "Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"

"U-uh, no, let's not worry him," Fili answered shakily, obviously fearing his uncle's wrath. "As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it," he finished, a pleading look on both brothers' faces. That might have worked on the Hobbit last time, but there was no way he was going to be facing those trolls alone.

"It looks like something big happened to these trees, something very big and possibly quite dangerous," Bilbo observed.

"That was our thinking. Look! There's a light," Fili whispered, peering through a gap in the trees. The three of them walked closer, careful not to stray too close before crouching down behind a log. They heard the distorted sound of voices.

"Trolls," Kili said dramatically while standing up and running closer his brother right behind.

Bilbo rolled his eyes before getting up and following the two idiotic princes. The three of them quickly ducked down as one of the trolls tumbled past, carrying a pony under each arm.

"He's got Myrtle and Minty," the Hobbit whispered, concerned, despite himself, for his pony. He sighed, "i think they're going to eat them. We have to do something," he whispered to the brothers." Bilbo raised an eyebrow at the pair's surprised faces before rolling his eyes.

"Yes, you should," Kili agreed, trying to push Bilbo toward the Trolls, but the Hobbit was not having it.

"Now hold on just a moment. I said _we_ should do something, and i meant it! You lost them, so you are going to going help me get them back, and feel lucky I'm helping you at all," he finished sternly, putting the bowls on the ground. Fili and Kili blinked at him in surprise.

"Fili, go back to camp and tell the others, but wait a few hours before coming back. Bring rope when you do," the Hobbit ordered. The blonde looked like he wanted to protest, but one look from Bilbo had him on his way.

"Now Kili, we're going to wait here for a bit until almost sunrise, and then i'm going to go and distract them while you free the ponies. Once they're free, find Fili and the others and tell them…"

"Mutton yesterday, mutton today and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrer," said one of the Trolls loudly, startling Bilbo and Kili awake, they had apparently dozed off while waiting for dawn.

"Never a blinking bit of manflesh have we had for long enough," said a second, while the Hobbit and Dwarf quickly got into position, knowing they must not have much time left.

"What the 'ell William was a-thinkin' of to bring us into these parts at all, beats me, and the drink runnin' short, what's more," he said jogging the elbow of William, who was taking a pull of his jug.

William choked, "shut yer mouth Tom!" he said as soon as he could. "Yer can't expect folk to stop here forever just to be et by you and Bert, anyways we 'ave here fresh Nags don't we?"

Bilbo took that as his que and lept out from the tree line, startling the three Trolls.

"Hello." he greeted cheerfully.

William got up at once, grabbing Bilbo by the neck, "Blimey Bert, look what i've copped!" exclaimed William.

"What is it?" asked the others coming up.

"Lumme, if i knows! What are yer?"

"Bilbo Baggins, a Hobbit," he answered as politely as he could with the hand on his poor throat.

"A Hobbit," said they, startled. Trolls were suspicious to anything new to them.

"Can yer' cook 'em?" asked Tom predictably.

"Yer can try," answered Bert, picking up as skewer.

"He wouldn't make above a mouthful," William commented.

"Yes, yes, you are absolutely right. Anyway, i'm afraid we Hobbit are highly poisonous if eaten-" the rest of Bilbo's sentence was cut off as he was abruptly dropped at the mention of being poisonous.

"What is yer doin' here anyways?" Bert asked, now more suspicious than ever.

"I, uh, I couldn't help but overhear you were cooking mutton, and i must say you've got the seasoning all wrong," the Burglar said, looking off to the other side of the camp, seeing Kili carefully leading the four ponies away from the Trolls camp.

"Seasoning? What 'bout the seasoning?" William inquired indignantly.

"Well, if you truly want to bring out the flavor, you must use more than simply salt and sage." In all honesty Bilbo had no idea how to properly cook mutton, but he just needed to stall for a little bit longer. "Besides, you're cooking it all wrong. While a stew is nice, the best way to go about it is roasting."

Bert grabbed the burglar by his legs, and once again Bilbo was lifted into the air.

"Whats'a Hobbit know 'bout cooking mutton anyways?" he asked with an ugly scowl.

Bilbo looked toward the tree line and saw Kili perched high in the branches of an old oak, bow at the ready. Fili, Thorin, and the rest of the company stood below, rope in hand. The Hobbit smiled. "I'm terribly sorry gentleman, but i'm afraid i must be on my way. Now!" He shouted the last word and was immediately dropped to the ground as arrow after arrow shot at the three Trolls from the trees, forcing them to huddle together in the center of the camp. Then the rest of the Dwarves came charging in with a fierce yell, quickly looping the rope around the Trolls feet and pulling tight, causing them to immediately fall over in a large heap.

"Dawn shall take you all!" a voice shouted from above. They all looked up to see Gandalf standing tall upon a boulder. He lifted up his staff then brought it crashing down, breaking the rock clean in two and showering the camp in morning sunlight, instantly turning the Trolls to stone.

"Perfect timing, as always, Gandalf," Bilbo called from where he was still lying on the ground. The wizard smilled.

"Bilbo! Are you alright?" asked Fili and Kili simultaneously, as they rushed to the Hobbit's side.

"I assure you i'm quite alright," the burglar reassured as he dusted himself off. The concern the brothers showed really was heartwarming. He found it hard not to tear up.

"A good thing too. It would have been your heads if he had been harmed," Thorin reprimanded as he stalked over. The princes bowed their heads, guilt clear on their faces, but Bilbo was not having it.

"Now, Thorin i think you're being a bit harsh. Would you rather it were them that had been taken by the Trolls?" the Hobbit asked with a stern look and a raised eyebrow. The king narrowed his cool gaze on Bilbo, an odd look in his eyes that the Burglar couldn't quite place.

They stared each other down for a few moments before being interrupted by Gandalf calling them to inspect the Troll hoard. Thorin was the first one to break eye contact, stomping away towards the cave.

Bilbo rolled his eyes, walking in the direction of the cave himself, leaving Fili and Kili staring at his retreating figure with awed looks on their shocked faces.

"What is that stench?" Fili wondered aloud as the company descended into the filthy confines of the cave.

"It's a Troll hoard. Be careful what you touch," Gandalf called back, walking further in.

It didn't take long until most of the company was coughing horridly due to the foul stench, but it was well worth the suffering as the Dwarves quickly discovered chests of gold coins all about the cave.

"Seems a shame to just leave them lying around, anyone could take it," Bofur commented with a sideways glance to his fellows. Bilbo snorted in amusement, instantly regretting it as the stench hit him head on, and he started coughing again.

"Agreed, Nori get a shovel," Gloin called.

The Burglar shook his head, wandering deeper into the cave where Thorin and Gandalf had gone. He saw the king pick up two spiderweb and dust covered swords from the hoard.

"These swords were not made by any Troll," Thorin muttered to the wizard next to him.

"Nor were they made by any smith among men," Gandalf commented as he took one of the blades from the king's hand, inspecting it shrewdly. "These were forged in Gondolin by the high elves in the first age. You could not wish for a finer blade," he added as Thorin had started looking at the swords with disgust as opposed to the reverence they deserved.

The king glanced sideways at the wizard before taking the blade out of its sheath to inspect it further.

Bilbo sighed at Thorin's stubbornness, watching the king's back as he went to the mouth of the cave, sword in hand, calling for them to hurry up and leave the foul place. The Hobbit did not like that idea, for he hadn't even the chance to look for Sting as of yet. Just then he felt a tap on his shoulder. Bilbo turned to see Gandalf holding the very blade he had been thinking of.

"Here, this is about your size. It is an Elvish blade, which means it'll glow blue when Goblins or Orcs are nearby," the wizard smiled down at him as he took the Sword in hand.

"I've never used a sword in my life," Bilbo lied.

"And i hope you never have to, but if you do remember this; true courage isn't knowing when to take a life but when to spare one." That advice would stay with the Hobbit for the rest of his days. Bilbo nodded with a small smile, happy to have Sting in his possession once again.

"Something is coming!" Thorin suddenly yelled from outside the cave. Both wizard and Hobbit rushed out, though Bilbo knew there wasn't any real danger.

"Stay together," Gandalf ordered as they met up with the others. "Arm yourselves!"

The company quickly huddled together with poor Bilbo stuck in the middle, not even bothering to pull out Sting.

And, sure enough, Radagast the brown broke through the trees on his Rabbit-pulled sleigh, screaming bloody murder for all the world to hear.

"Radagast," gandalf sighed in part relief part exasperation. "Radagast the brown," he finished, walking over to his fellow wizard.

"What on earth are you doing here?" The grey wizard asked

"I was looking for you Gandalf," the haggard wizard answered.

Bilbo didn't listen to the rest of their conversation, choosing instead to head over to the newly rescued Myrtle, hopping on the pony quickly, knowing that the real danger was only moments away.

"Oi! Mister Boggins, what are you doing?" Fili asked with a raised eyebrow as he walked over.

"Oh!, i, uh, i just have this bad feeling that we're soon going to get away in hurry, i've learned to listen to my instincts," the Hobbit finished with a quick smile, hoping the young prince would believe his poor excuse.

It seemed to have worked because a moment later the blonde mounted his own pony, calling for his brother to do the same.

"What are you two doing?" Bilbo wondered cautiously, having not expected for anyone to have copied him.

"If there's one thing we have learned from the Trolls, it's that we can trust you," Fili began as he checked his saddle bag to make sure everything was still there.

"So if you say you've got a bad feeling then we believe you," Kili finished with a wide smile but Bilibo had no time revel in the amazing trust that was being placed upon him by the two princes for just then they saw a warg, growling dangerously as it came stalking over a hill before rushing towards the company teeth barred as he charged straight for Thorin, quickly meeting it's death at the end of the king's blade. Another came jumping through the trees right at Bilbo but it to quickly perished thanks to Kilis arrow.

"Warg scouts, that means an Orc pack is not far behind," Thorin called.

"Who did you tell about your quest beyond your kin?" Gandalf demanded.

"No one," he answered venimently.

"Who did you tell!" Gandalf shouted once more.

"No one i swear! What in Durins name is going on here?"

"You are being hunted," the wizard answered darkly.

"We have to get out of here!" Dwalin called, already atop his pony.

"I'll draw them off!" Radagast declared

"These are gondaven Wargs, They'll out run you!" Gandalf called back.

"And these are roscavell Rabbits, i'd like to see them try," he retorted with a smirked

The rest agreed to the Brown wizards plan and quickly mounted their steeds, hiding out of sight while Radagast drew the Orc pack away from them

It didn't take long for Radagast to lure them away and the company wasted no time in riding off in the opposite direction, which Bilbo noticed just happened to be towards Rivendell, though he decided against mentioning this to anyone else.

Despite the brown wizards best efforts, it didn't take long for the Orcs to catch sight of them and were soon closing in on the company, since they were on they ponies, Bilbo knew they wouldn't be able to duck in the hole beneath the rocks so he could only hope they could out run the Orc pack long enough for the Elves to come to their aid.

"Come! We must ride with haste!" Gandalf shouted needlessly.

Bilbo could hear the foul Orcs shouting in their native tongue from behind as they rode as quickly as their poor ponies could carry them. ' _Although it might be all for not'_ the Hobbit thought as the pack closed in around them.

"Kili, shoot them!" The young Prince did as his uncle ordered though it seemed quite fruitless with so many Orc ladden Wargs converging in on them. Suddenly a horn blow in the distance as arrows rained down upon the pack of Orcs. ' _just in time'_ Bilbo let out a sigh of relief as he saw the platoon of Elves, Each atop a beautiful white horse, riding over the hill to save them.

A/N: sorry it took me a bit longer to hash this one out, anything action-y really isn't my strong suit.

Good Smaug: 1

Bad Smaug:0

-Dork


	6. Chapter 6 of jewelry and tantrums

"This was your plan all along, To seek refuge with our enemy," Thorin muttered resentfully as the Elves lead the company to Rivendell.

"You have no enemies here Thorin Oakenshield, the only ill will to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself," Gandalf shot back, obviously getting tired of the Dwarves poor attitude.

"You think the Elves will give our Quest their blessing?" the king asked indignantly. "They will try to stop us."

"Of course they will, but we have questions that need to be answered." that seemed to have won the argument as Thorin sighed in defeat, clearly still not happy about having to stay with Elves. "If we are to be successful, this will need to be handled with tack and respect and no small degree of charm."

"So we're doomed then?" Bilbo asked rhetorically as he rode up next to them, Gandalf chuckled, Thorin still looked sour.

Any further conversation was put to a stop as the company finally came upon the hidden valley of Imladris

"Mithrandir," a dark haired Elf called to gandalf as he walked gracefully down the steps of the main hall to the courtyard where they stood.

"Ah, linder," the wizard greated back as he approached the Elf, they exchanged a few words in Elvish before returning to common. "i must speak with lord Elrond."

"I am here, Mithrandir," said one of the Elves that had helped them escape the Orcs, he lifted his helmet to reveal nun other than the lord in question. "Welcome, company of Thorin Oakenshield, to Rivendell." Lord Elrond called, standing regally beside his white horse. "It's good to see you again Gandalf, and you as well Bilbo Baggins."

"Likewise lord Elrond," the Hobbit replied with a smile despite the odd looks he was receiving from his Dwarves.

"Our business is of no concern to Elves."

"For goodness sake Thorin, show him the map."

"It's the legacy of my people and its mine to protect, as are its secrets." Anyone could tell that Gandalf was getting quite tired of his and Throins little game of back and forth and frankly so was Bilbo, as well as everyone else present.

"Save me from the stubbornness of Dwarves," the wizard muttered with a slightly defeated look on his aged face. "Your pride will be your downfall, you stand here in the presents of one of the few in middle earth who can read that map. Show it to him!" Gandalf finished, raising his voice slightly at the end.

The stubborn Dwarf king finally relented and handed over the map to lord Elrond, Balin made a brief attempt to stop him but was quickly brushed aside.

"Erebor." it wasn't a question, "what is your interest in this map?" the air in which Elrond asked this was an ominous one.

"It's mainly academic.," Gandalf lied quickly just as Thorin opened his mouth, most probably to tell the truth, "but you know this sort of artifact some time contains hidden text." it was clear by the look on the Elf lords face that he plainly saw through the lie but took the map to inspect it all the same.

"You still read ancient Dwarvish do you not?" Elrond read some of the runes on the map in demonstration "ah, moon runes, of course, an easy thing to miss," the wizard muttered to Bilbo with an overly confident smile, obviously trying to say he was no less intelligent just he couldn't read them, the Hobbit rolled his eyes exagetorily.

"In this case that is true, moon runes can only be read by the light of the moon of the same shape and season as the day on which they where written," lord Elrond stated smartly.

"Can you read them?" Thorin inquired a hint of desperation in his voice.

Bilbo stared sullenly down at the jewelry box in his hands, it was evening now and the Hobbit was just relaxing in one of the many lushes gardens of Imladris after the reading of the map

The burglar gently opened the simple oaken jewelry box, setting it down on the bench beside him after pulling out a bronze ear cuff made up of an intricate vine and leaf pattern, turning it slowly in his small hands.

"It's very beautiful." Bilbo nearly dropped the piece of jewelry in his hands so startled was he at the soft voice that spoke from behind him.

He turned his head sharply to look upon the person, or Elf to be precise, that had snuck up on him, the woman had long black hair, cascading like a river down her back, the most mesmerizing ice blue eyes upon her glowing face, somehow appearing warm and welcoming despite their color.

"I apologize if i startled you, my name is Arwen." The Elf, Arwen, smiled down at him, coming to stand closer to the stone bench Bilbo was sat upon.

"Ah, no, no, i'm quite alright, and yes, it's very beautiful, i always thought so anyway." the Hobbit belatedly remembered the ear cuff still clutched in his hands. "Would you like to sit?" The lady Arwen accepted his offer, sitting gracefully upon the bench.

"I'm Bilbo Baggins," the burglar introduced though he suspected that Arwen already knew that, Bilbo remembered the Elf fondly from his time living with the Elves of Rivendell in his later years.

"Forgive me for asking but i was curious as to what you were doing in the company of Thorin Oakenshield? i never thought of Hobbits as particular adventures folk, although there was once a Hobbit lass that would come visit our halls," Arwen asked with a bit of hesitation.

"Yes, that was my mother, Belladonna. I suppose i must of inherited her Tookish nature," the Hobbit chuckled, remembering the many ecsenticsies of his late mother.

"She truly was a wondrous soul," Arwen remarked with a nod of her head. "Was that hers?" she asked, referring to the jewelry the Hobbit had all but forgotten he was holding.

"Yes, yes it was." Bilbo handed the pieces over to his companion so she could inspect it herself. "I never really took myself for a jewelry person but it's quite the charming pieces isn't it?" the Elf hummed her agreement.

"May i?" She gestured at his ear with the cuff.

Bilbo hesitated, after all ears where a very sensitive area for a Hobbit, in the end he nodded, pulling his golden curls back. Arwen gingerly attached the cuff to the shell of the burglars ear.

"It looks charming on you as well," she complimented with a smile before standing, brushing imaginary dust off her midnight blue gown. "Good night master Baggins." with that she was gone as quickly as she had come.

"I really don't think this is at all necessary," Bilbo sighed with exasperation.

"Our apologize master Boggins but it's uncles orders," Kili said with an unbothered grin on his young face.

The Hobbit rolled his eyes, crossing his short arms petulantly. It was a fine summers morning in Rivendell and the pair were lounging around in a bit of soft grass by a pleasant little stream they had found not far from the guest building they where staying in.

Bilbo had thought it rather sweet when Kili had offered to keep him company on his after breakfast stroll, that is until the prince told him that it was because Thorin had thought it necessary to have their burglar guarded at all times while they were in 'enemy territory' and Kili was taking the first shift.

"So Thorin doesn't think me capable of handling myself while amongst harmless Elves?" Somewhere in the back of his mind Bilbo wondered what had changed from last time to make Thorin so worried about his safety, if the Hobbit wasn't so frustrated he might have thought it sweet.

"I agree with my Uncle, Elves are not to be trusted and frankly you are much too comfortable with them," Kili reprimanded as if he was speaking to a small child. Bilbo's eyebrow twitched in irritation, though he supposed he ought to get use to it, the Dwarf king was highly stubborn after all.

The two sat in silence for a bit, the Hobbit watching the stream for interesting fish, while Kili sharpened one of the heads of his arrows.

"Can i ask you something?" The young prince broke the silence, glancing at the burglar with a sheepish look on his face.

"Yes, of course," Bibo answered

"Why did you decide to join the company? Not that i'm not grateful for your accompaniment, it's just that quests such as these don't really seem to be common amongst Hobbits." Kili still looked a bit shy but there was a curiosity in his eyes that you only ever saw in adolescents.

Bilbo had to think on that for a moment, telling the prince the whole truth was out of the question but he didn't really want to lie to the brunette ethier.

"You're right, Hobbits don't join many quests, it's not considered proper for Hobbits to even leave the Shire, muchless go on adventures with thirteen Dwarves and a wizard," Bilbo began.

"So why did you?" Kili inquired further ,all traces of hesitation gone. The Hobbit chuckled at the Dwarves childlike curiosity.

"I suppose the answer lies in my mother, she was known throughout the Shire as much to adventuress to be deemed respectable, as a child i had much the same wild spirit, always coming home in the evenings covered in dirt with twigs caught in my hair," Bilbo chuckled at the memory, "but after my parents passed, i became much more attached to Bag-end and the Shire, it was all i had left of them, i wanted nothing to do with anything odd or partake in any adventures at all." the Hobbit glanced at the Dwarf prince to find him entirely inraptured by his story so he continued. "So when Gandalf came upon my door i had been quite wary of him and the mysteries he carried but i wasn't entirely unwilling to hear him out and when you lot showed up upon my doorstep, then i was told the history of how you lost your home, how determined you all seemed to reclaim Erebor, even when all the odds seemed stacked against you, something inside me awakened then, that sense of wonder i had as a child." Bilbo looked Kili head on, a sort of morbid determination ablaze in his amber eyes. "I couldn't keep living on in the perfect comfort of my home when you don't have you, a home that is."

The young Dwarf prince nodded slowly, a deeply contemplative adorning his young face, it looked a bit out of place.

"Thank you for telling me that story Mister Boggins." The Hobbit in question chuckled at the nickname, he knew full well that Kili knew his real name.

"You're very welcome Kili."

And as the two of them sat peacefully upon the grassy bank, Bilbo thought it might not be such a bad thing to have a guard around to bother him.

good smaug: 3

if you have any ideas for what you want to see in future chapters, please tell me and as always i'm sorry.


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